Too Fat for the White Suit

I still remember the white suit.

It was crisp. Iconic. The kind of costume that made a dancer feel like they’d made it.

I’d done the work. My dancing was sharp. I got through the audition.
The choreographer looked at me and said,
“Your dancing is good enough.”

And then —
“But your thighs are just too fat for the white suit.”

That sentence stayed with me far longer than any performance ever did.

There were others too. Teachers who thought they were being casual or funny:

“Oh… I see your thighs are still big.”

Not “How are you?”
Not “How’s your training going?”
Just… still big.

It chips away at you. At your confidence. At your sense of belonging.

It didn’t matter that I could dance.
Because in those moments, all that mattered was the size of my thighs.

Even after I stopped dancing professionally…
I didn’t stop weighing.
Didn’t stop dieting.
Didn’t stop checking and punishing and fixing.

Somewhere along the way, I absorbed the belief that my body — unless it was shrinking — was not acceptable.

That belief didn’t come from nowhere.
It came from years of being told that your worth, your castability, your identity as a dancer, was connected to your size.

We say we’re more inclusive now.
We use words like “body positivity” and “diversity.”
But are things really better?

Or are the pressures just… quieter now?

 Let’s Look at the Data:

• Dancers are 3x more likely than the general population to develop eating disorders.
• 16.4% of ballet dancers and 12% of all dancers report struggling with them.
• In Australia, 1.1 million people (4.5% of the population) are currently living with an eating disorder.
• 27% of those are teenagers aged 10–19.
• Eating disorder prevalence has increased 21% since 2012 — and the cost to society is now a staggering $67 billion per year.

That’s not change.
That’s a crisis — especially for young dancers who are still growing, still learning who they are.

• Do you think we’re doing better — really?

• Are our studios safe spaces for all body types?

• Are we actively training our teachers to avoid the comments that shaped us?

• Do we even notice when those old thought patterns show up in how we speak or cast?

And more personally…

• Do you still carry the shame or judgment that was handed to you as a teen?
• Are you still healing — or are you still punishing yourself quietly?

Because I still catch myself wondering if I’ve gained weight before I speak at a conference.
I still feel more confident on stage if I’ve lost a few kilos.
Even now.

🩰 My thighs were never the problem.
💬 The comments were.
🧠 The silence was.
💛 The shame was.

Let’s break the silence — for ourselves, for our students, and for the next generation of dancers.

Drop a comment. Send me a DM. Talk to your teachers. Start a conversation in your next staff meeting.

We don’t need another generation of students believing they are “too fat for the white suit.”

Want to keep this conversation going?

Join me on socials this week where we’ll be diving deeper into body image, studio culture, and how we heal — together.

Helpful links and support:

• Butterfly Foundation — Resources for eating disorders and body image in Australia
• Eating Disorders Victoria — Support services and fact sheets
• Dance Health Alliance — Inclusive resources for the dance community